Off the Charts Anxiety

I’m about ready to lose my shit. I mean it! Little dude starts his extended school year session tomorrow, which is fine. I’ve come to LOVE these 5 weeks and consider them mandatory in order to maintain some level of sanity in our home because it gets little dude out of the house for 4+ hours a day and gives me, and his siblings, a bit of a break for those 4+ hours. But this year is different. This year he’ll be attending his extended school year session over at the middle school instead of the designated elementary school he’s been going to since 2010. That’s fine. In fact, I expected it. The middle school is closer to the house and I could even walk him there if I chose to. But, since he’s special needs he is entitled to take the bus, and I’ve decided to be like almost everyone else and start to take advantage of these entitlements just a little bit. However, what I wasn’t expecting was to have to walk him over to his bus stop. I wasn’t even expecting him to have a bus stop. I really thought it was going to be exactly how its been since September 2009, when he started preschool. The bus has always stopped at our front door. Now, that’s over. Well shit. I wasn’t expecting that, so I wasn’t really ready for it. Unexpected, but not the end of the world – still though it managed to raise my anxiety level up just a skooch because now we have to get up earlier and now walk to the bus stop. If we’re running even just the tiniest bit late, we now run the risk of missing the bus altogether and then having to hightail it over to the school. Like knees to chest, let’s get our asses in gear NOW type of hightailing it.

Little dude has been asking me if he can stay home with me starting tomorrow. He’s been at this for a week now. Usually he enjoys going to extended school year and we’ve never had this problem before. I mean, yes, he asks me on a daily basis if he can stay home with me when it’s the regular school year. That’s pretty much our right before bed and early morning argument.

“Mom, I wanna stay home with you…”


“Because I love you and wanna be with you…”

Does he not realize how boring life is around here during the day? He must. Right now he’s bored out of his mind and desperately needs some serious structure to his day. I do my best to provide some for him, but its not enough. I can’t work the magic/witchcraft that the district can (that’s a compliment).

He’s also expressed that he’s nervous about getting on the big bus. I reassured him that he will be taking the small bus, as he has been, and there will be an aid on board to help him. This seemed to calm him down quite a bit.

The middle school has been pestering me for his immunization records. Apparently he’s missing 2 and I’m all like, “Ummmm, nope. Check again. My kids are all either fully vaccinated or up-to-date on them. They’re now telling me that he needs 2 specific vaccines before the start of the school year. Vaccines he hasn’t had yet, but he’s scheduled for them at his well visit at the end of September. Sorry district, that’s when his appointment is and I’ve tried to get it changed to an earlier appointment but it can’t be done. I do have a letter from the pediatrician stating he has an appointment to receive those vaccines at the end of September, and I plan on packing that letter up into his backpack later on tonight so it can find its way to the nurse’s office tomorrow. Fingers crossed that it will be enough and they’ll be understanding. In the meantime though, anxiety levels continue to rise.

And now…. FINALLY there’s some light at the end of this cyber attack tunnel. My company sent out new software downloads and training instructions, and of course when I download the software and try to start training, it doesn’t work for me.

Isn’t that just kick you in the crotch and spit on your neck fantastic?

Tech support is working to fix that but still, I feel a primal scream bubbling up from way down deep, and I can’t be held responsible for what happens when I finally unleash it. Anxiety levels are approaching off the charts levels.

Here’s a bonus: My husband had lab work done last week. Standard stuff. He has had back pain recently and numbness in his right shin. His orthopedic surgeon told him that’s usually what happens when you’re diabetic, so he had blood work done to prove he wasn’t diabetic. Wanna take a guess at what the results said?

Okay, no he’s not officially diabetic. His A1c level was 5.7. They like to see it below 5.4. In fact it takes 2 consecutive A1c readings of 6.5 or higher to officially declare someone diabetic. BUT, my wonderful hubby is what they would consider prediabetic which means conditions are just about right for him to develop full blow diabetes. And we shouldn’t feel sorry for him because I love him, but he did this himself. His paternal grandmother and his father both developed type 2 diabetes in their later years. And my hubs doesn’t not have the best eating habits. I make dinner for him and I pack his lunch every day, so I try to get him to eat healthy there. But what good is that when all he does is pig out on chips, cookies and cake while watching TV from the time he gets home until the time he goes to bed? He also told me some of his other blood work readings were abnormal and he asked me to look at them when he gets home. I’m hoping its the wake up call he needs to start doing the right thing. He’s going to be 50 next month and I want him around for a long, long time.

So all of this has just been working my few last good nerves for the past week. I’m sure it’ll be better tomorrow once little due has ridden the bus to and from school, has gotten a feel for his new teacher and routine, and the nurse’s office gets that letter. My husband does have an appointment to discuss his blood work results with his doctor tomorrow as well.

Have you ever just had one of those weeks?

Little dude happily playing with one of his many cars. We’ll make sure to pack a few of those up on Thursday for his first day of his extended school year session.


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