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Category: family

45 Lessons Learned in 45 Years

I’m a little disappointed. I wanted to post this on my actual birthday, which was this past Wednesday (September 20th), but things happen like coming down with my first cold of the school year and having both of my boys home from school for 4 days. Not to mention I was sort of hoping to sweep this birthday under the rug because I just turned (gasp) 45. I’m still trying to figure out how this age just sort of crept up on me. It felt like it was just yesterday when I turned 30, then 35 and inevitably 40. But 45? Wow. And I’m not really sure how I feel about it. Thirty didn’t really bother me so much, but 35 was rough. That was okay though, it toughened me up for 40. And so far my 40s have been pretty damn good. No real complaints. I really don’t mind revealing my age to anyone who might ask because, and I’ve been told this many times from numerous sources, I don’t really look my age. I’m not humble bragging here, just repeating what the masses have said. But that was all in my early 40s. I’m not really in my early 40s anymore, am I? But I wouldn’t exactly say I’m in my late 40s either. I’m just sort of stuck right smack in the middle now and I feel it. No, not the aches and pains that come with aging. I feel 50 off in the distance, and I feel it mocking me. Birthdays kind of changed for me once I started having kids, mostly because my kids were suddenly noisy little clocks reminding me…

So When Are You Going Back to Work and Other Rude Things Said to Me

I’m so freakin’ happy!!! Wait happy? Yes, happy and most definitely relieved. I posted some time last week that I’ve been without access to work as a medical transcriptionist for quite a bit of time. Well, it’s goin’ on week 2 now and mama here needed a new gig. I also wasn’t in love with being an independent contractor. I was getting a lower rate of pay and I’ll have to pay my own taxes for the little bit of time that I had that status. No thank you… I was just re-hired by the company I left in early April. I did IC work for a company that subcontracted with the company I just left which I didn’t realize until I had started with them. It completely pissed me off because I could’ve just stayed were I was, had my taxes handled and had use of a company computer. Lesson learned. I start with them again in 2 weeks, so I’ll be treating these next 2 weeks like a vacation. I work part time because with a house to take care of and a special needs child that needs well special tending to, I have no time, or desire, to work full time. I know, how un-modern woman of me… to not want to have a career and have it all. Well, that depends on how you look at things. To me I do have it all. I have an amazing husband who works very hard so I don’t have to. Yeah, I said it. I work hard taking care of our home and children, I don’t want to have to work hard…

I Was a Shitty Mom This Past Year

Oh shit! I cursed in the title. Oh shit! I just did it again! I’m sorry for dropping the doodie bomb right out of the gate on this one, but sometimes ya just gotta say the bad word. I don’t think declaring I was a real poo poo mom this past year would’ve had the same impact; so we’re sticking with shitty. In fact, I just might actually qualify for the shittiest mom award for some of my behavior this past year. You might be wondering just what the hell happened this past year that I feel the need to declare myself a shitty mom. Well, lemme tell you… It started last September/October when little dude’s new teacher thought he might do better in a more academically challenged environment.  That meant changing his classroom, teacher and peers. I stupidly agreed to this. That was shitty. It was shitty because I was so excite about him moving into a more academically challenging environment that I didn’t even stop to think what the sudden change to his overall environment might actually do to him (spoiler alert: it wasn’t a good move).  And so they changed his class, just like that and I immediately regretted it. There was a… how can I put this nicely? Okay, there was a behaviorally challenged student in this new class and little due started picking up some really bad behaviors. Like violent behaviors. This behaviorally challenged student would do things like oh pick a desk up and throw it across the room. Guess what my little dude tried to do a few times? This behaviorally challenged student was also a hitter and now what do you think happened? Yep, little…

What My Days Look Like Now

I survived! We survived! The first day of little dude’s extended school year (ESY) session was a success. VERY different than what I’ve become accustomed to for the past 7 years, but it didn’t break me, and it didn’t break him – and honestly I was a bit more concerned about him. I haven’t met his new teacher, but I already love her. She was his ESY teacher a few years back and I was hoping she was going to be his new teacher that school year and I almost broke down and cried when she said her regular teaching gig was at the middle school. But good things come to those who wait, am I right? She’s his teacher for the summer and he’ll be in her class this fall and just by filling out the paper work she sent home, I’m already impressed. I’m also impressed that she got him to hand write a journal entry about his first day at ESY. He toured the school building and met so many new peeps. He had his snack, did some work, and wrote in his journal. He even declared in his journal entry that he needed help with nothing today. YAY!!! He handled things amazingly well. Me on the other hand… I wish it was Friday night so I cold drink some wine and just pass out. But nope. Can’t do that. I need to get up and do this all again tomorrow. At least the anxiety part of this all has subsided, just like I thought it would. But all the other stuff…. ugh!!! My Day in Bullet List Form: 5:00 a.m. – Alarm…

Off the Charts Anxiety

I’m about ready to lose my shit. I mean it! Little dude starts his extended school year session tomorrow, which is fine. I’ve come to LOVE these 5 weeks and consider them mandatory in order to maintain some level of sanity in our home because it gets little dude out of the house for 4+ hours a day and gives me, and his siblings, a bit of a break for those 4+ hours. But this year is different. This year he’ll be attending his extended school year session over at the middle school instead of the designated elementary school he’s been going to since 2010. That’s fine. In fact, I expected it. The middle school is closer to the house and I could even walk him there if I chose to. But, since he’s special needs he is entitled to take the bus, and I’ve decided to be like almost everyone else and start to take advantage of these entitlements just a little bit. However, what I wasn’t expecting was to have to walk him over to his bus stop. I wasn’t even expecting him to have a bus stop. I really thought it was going to be exactly how its been since September 2009, when he started preschool. The bus has always stopped at our front door. Now, that’s over. Well shit. I wasn’t expecting that, so I wasn’t really ready for it. Unexpected, but not the end of the world – still though it managed to raise my anxiety level up just a skooch because now we have to get up earlier and now walk to the bus stop. If we’re running…