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Monthly Archives: April 2017

My Kid Was An Asshole Today

Yep, you read the title of this post right. My kid, who I’ve been so proud of lately for such good behavior and doing his best to make the right choices, was a full blown asshole today during dismissal at school. Why? Well, my little boy, who has quite the fascination with fire alarms, decided to pull the one at school asย his class was headed toward the area where they get on the buses. If you’re currently stunned at that fact that I just referred to my autistic son as an asshole, let me explain. There are times when the things he does are clearly due to the fact that he is on the spectrum and sometimes he really just can’t help it. ย And then there are times when he’s just being a little shit (you know, just like any other kid) and operating in 100% asshole mode. Today, he was a complete asshole. I got a call from the school on my cell phone. They told me they had forgotten to put him on the bus and I needed to come get him, which I thought was weird. Like since when the hell do they forget to put a kid on the bus? But, whatevs. Fortunately I had just finished putting on my makeup, so I wouldn’t scare anyone with my no makeup at all look, and I headed over to the school. Well, when I got there I saw two fire trucks outside and a slew of firemen and police officers. When I got into the school lobby I found my boy seated on the bench with his speech therapist and his teacher. And they looked pissed. When I asked them what happened they informed me he…

15 Random Facts About Me

I have to be honest, I’m not exactly what you’d call an open book. I’ve been know to have my guard up, especially when meeting new people, and there are quite a few people who I keep at arms length. This little personality trait of mine would be tolerable if I were on my own, but I’m not. I’m married to a very friendly guy. That’s not to say I’m not friendly – just guarded. If I like you and we get to know each other better, well… let’s just say you best prepare yourself for some crazy shit! You can probably guess that a very friendly and (maybe a little too) open guy being married to a somewhat guarded bitch has caused more than a few moments of tension in our marriage. You’d be right and I’ve lost count of the number of times my husband has uttered the phrase, “What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you just be nice?”  To which I’ve often replied with something like, “I was being nice! Hey, I didn’t straight up call him an asshole to his face, right?”  Fun times. But that was then, and I think I have my resting face bitch under better control now. At least I think I can fake like someone in person a bit better nowadays. But here’s the thing, fakin’ it here is just not gonna cut it. I love you guys and there’s no way in hell you’re gonna find your tribe and love ’em hard, if you…